THERE’S HOPE BEYOND YOUR SPLINTERED MIND

What is this feeling? The queasiness, the pain, the guilt- it isn’t real yet it engulfs us.

Happiness is an emotion, so is sadness and anxiety yet the latter are frowned upon.

The ones that mask it well and are able to handle things also collapse, the weak succumb, the tough fight…. This is a myth. It is a disease- a tragically, frightening truth. Anyone can succumb and everyone can fight

We all go through life’s ups and downs- we’re created to be tough. As a man, you can’t melt under pressure, as a woman or worse/better still as a mother, you automatically should be strong—we’ve heard this all. You have no time to allow yourself to fall.

Why this cut throat competition? Why the unnecessary quest to win- to succeed- to be at the top?

‘Log kya kahenge?’ Yeah- what will people say?

You haven’t done your home assignment, you woke up late, you only want to play…. Why stress about so much from so young. Why can we not teach our kids to learn to implement and grow as humans, not study to pass.

I heard kids in my child’s e-class repeatedly ask teachers about their e-books on Day 1. Parents are dismayed on missing 'e-P.E'. When was the last we asked our children to play, run, skip and tell them it was okay to lose, when was the last time we taught them Essential Life Skills like teamwork, self-esteem, unconditional love, trust, kindness, being helpful, forgiveness not forgetting open COMMUNICATION. 

Have we ever told them that it’s okay to pursue hobbies and dreams, not only English, Math and Science? Have we advised them that it is important to at least try, that they may fail and it is perfectly fine to fail, what is important is the effort, determination, focus and the will to finish and learn.

Why are good looks, clear, fair skin, tall, straight hair, standing first, always winning the only important things.

Let children learn while having fun, they are slow and not as focused, they take their time to cope, let’s not pull them down when we can push them. Teach them to fail because life is full of failure, teach them to lose yet not to give up, to be resilient. Teach them UNCONDITIONAL LOVE- not you were good today, you did your assignment, no complains, you ate your food, so I love you….. Save them from this most dreaded mental illness that eats into more people than cancer

Adults can’t cope any better what with the stress to be on the top. The anxiety and stress may lead to depression in most cases.

It is okay to seek help, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. We aren’t ashamed of diabetes or High Blood Pressure then why are we ashamed of Depression? All we need is to be there, to be the ear- to listen to people when they are anxious and help them, be the shoulder to lean on, even cry on. Be the hand to hold them, be their reason to smile. Let them know you’re there and you care before it is too late…..and most times--- it is too late….

The reasons for depression may be many or none that we’re aware of, it may seem like one has a perfect life and we tend to mock them when we know that they are depressed- don’t stigmatize them, it is possible to be depressed. One falls ill whether they’re rich or poor- similarly, one may suffer depression whether rich or poor.

To all you wonderful people out there suffering from extreme stress, anxiety, or depression- Remember, it’s okay to feel limp, crippled, low on energy and unable to cope up. It is the most trying time that can seem like it may never end, to cry at length, to feel incapable of handling anything---however, it will end. What is important is to understand that this is normal and to get help- psychiatric help, psychological help. GO GET MEDICAL HELP!

And remember, it is not because of you. You are not the reason it has happened.

Go out and find help today! Help is just a call away, a message away.

·         Fight! This time to win and conquer the demons in your head!

·         Fight! Because you are strong!

·         Fight! Because you are wonderful and worthy of this life and you deserve to live. Because you get to live this life just once and you have to make the most of it, cease this opportunity and battle your fear!

All we ever need is to love and feel loved, to feel cared for, to know that one is there in case the other thinks they may fall, appreciation. Sometimes just to be acknowledged, accepted and listened to…

LOVE,

LEARNING- Make your commitment today

It’ been a while since I’ve written and today on Tangible Tuesdays, I thought what better than kick-start the onset of monsoon by writing.

I’m going to start with a quote- ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’ which means great works cannot be done in a hurry. It takes time to create great things. The architectural beauty of Rome didn’t show up overnight thereby teaching us that patience, hard work, determination and persistence are some keys to achievement.

I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m headed to or what I’m trying to get to… While this proverb can teach us much learning, today I’m going to write on something I always emphasize on-the term ‘LEARNING’ itself!

I know you may wonder about the connection to the proverb. So, let me join the dots for you.

Learning is a journey and cannot be achieved in a day. It is a continuous process and must go on.

A lot of times, we are complacent and refuse to upgrade, yes, I use the word refuse- because we don’t think it is important and think the years behind us that bring in experience are enough which is probably okay however it may not let us grow. We tend to close our avenues to growth- physically and mentally. People with a fixed mindset are unable to acknowledge or come to terms with change. They tend to get defensive while receiving feedback and encounter more obstacles that they may struggle to overcome.

Just like Rome wasn’t built in a day- learning doesn’t encompass formal education alone which when complete leads to growth and success. It is on-going and requires one to constantly learn and upgrade. Challenge thoughts, look for alternatives and solutions, and push yourself till you find the answer, don’t allow yourself to rest, and don’t settle for mediocre when you’re capable of better.

Focus on short-term wins that bring tangible results while keeping your eye on the big picture.

By making learning a continuous cycle, you will-

1-    Continue to grow- When you quest to learn, you will inch toward growth.

2-    Enhance creativity- Learning enhances creativity as you will not stop at anything and will always look for ways to be better than your previous self. It stretches the imagination to think beyond and perceive things in a new light to generate solutions.

3-    Welcome failure and you’ll find the ability to bounce back- With learning, comes the need to try and implement new things which may lead to failure. With failure, emerges the opportunity to learn.

4-    Upgradation- In this competitive age, people invest thousands in studying- good schools, colleges, classes for those plump jobs and fat salaries. On getting those positions, most people forget to continue learning, and don’t remember that nothing lasts forever thereby becoming redundant. So, to grow, one needs to constantly upgrade and this comes in from continuous learning.

5-    Expand your horizons- Learning expands your horizons and allows you to think beyond. It allows you think in a different light, through a different lens and allows for a paradigm shift if required.

    Learning is after all a beautiful cycle that only betters our curve in an upward direction if we embrace it.

    So, let’s make learning a natural part of our life. Let’s pledge to learn one new thing every day from anything and anybody. Let’s not let complacency set in; let’s pledge to grow not for materialistic gains but for our personal understanding and success. And just like Rome, we can be magnificent with a brilliant outcome if we strive to learn.

THE LIGHT WITHIN US…NOT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

THE LIGHT WITHIN US…NOT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

This thing called the virus or more famously called the Covid-19 may have steered in panic even so, surprisingly there’s calm within all of us- emotionally and spiritually. We’re unsure of supplies or cash or what lies in the morrow…yet; the peace we feel is unmeasured. I’m sure we haven’t felt this quiet, relaxed and peaceful in a long time. In spite of not knowing how we’ll bounce back the smiles within are warm.

I’m sure we’ve used this time to engage or re-engage with people we’ve lost connect with, picked up a hobby, learnt a new skill, upgraded ourselves, got better at what we already know and if you haven’t then what are you waiting for? You still have the time, so get going NOW!

I had a lot of plans in the first week of the lockdown just like the ones I’ve mentioned above, reading and learning being on the top of the list, however a fresh outpour of work has kept me on my toes. Work has always been our primary focus in recent times, so this time around I worked on my curiosity and never-ending quest to LEARN, for one, I’ve upgraded one of weakest skills and the one I prefer to shy away from- creating dynamic PowerPoint Presentations and realized it is indeed interesting though time consuming, another 2 certificates up my sleeve, and a few random thoughts that will materialize by the end of this quarter.

Spending a lot of fun time with the family, walks and spot jumping at home, board games, foosball, spring cleaning and oops.. following the world—cooking, not home chef yet, however trying my hand at dishing out delicacies (sometimes) and experiments that are forced down the kind throats (most times ;))

Family time in the evening is a board game of Ludo most days and just like the game, we’re safe only when home.

While scribbling, a fleeting thought of the poem ‘Leisure’ just crossed my mind. And I realize that ‘Life’ has finally given us the time to breathe a bit and stare- stare into a scary, brutal present, the economic meltdown; stare into a transitional future where our planet is undergoing it’s much needed healing.

I hope we can truly heal as well, and be able to slow down a bit so that we never have to stop in this way. While we heal, I hope we can renew ourselves of the physical, mental and emotional hurt and pain and come out triumphant. I hope we’ve renewed old ties, learnt and upgraded in some form.

For now, STAY HOME! STAY SAFE!

Easter- Resurrection Sunday

Easter- Resurrection Sunday

I asked a colleague (read sunshine) to pen down a few words for our Easter greetings to the world, after she did so and got my approval, the other colleague (read morning glory) who enjoys seeing me under heaps of work, asked me to add to it and create a blog. ‘Just saying good, isn’t enough, we’d love to see you add your royal touch (read wise crack, better still ‘tadka’) in it.

At first I wondered, Easter blog… I’ve always only wished people with a few words/lines. However, I realised that this Easter deserved a whole blog post of its own, so here I go….

In our life today, filled with daily video chats, online presentations, deadlines etc. - we’ve all forgotten to acknowledge that Easter is hopping this way!

Easter season is about love and joy in abundance as is the efforts put in it to make it memorable. The Holy week that takes repentance to the next level leading into the last 4 days of religious rites. The traditional festive fervour in the neighborhood is heightened by the delicate aroma of some of the tastiest dishes. The zeal is infectious as families gather to decide the tentative Easter lunch, the upholstery and décor and all that goes into the Easter basket.

This year, though Holy week started on the same note, the weekend didn’t feel the same. Just as we got spiritually ready for the Easter service, we got to know that we lost a loved one to the pandemic.

This year, Easter is different. Virtual masses, spiritual Eucharist, telephonic wishes. We’re just maintaining safe distance so that our loved ones are safe, so that our city, country and the world is safe.

All those who are celebrating the festival and those that are not, it is a blessing to be sharing a wholesome meal with your family, to be with your loved ones, to be safe and nestled in the comforts of your homes for there are thousands who aren’t that fortunate!

As we celebrate Easter 2020, we see the world united for the first time at least in the last 4 decades of my life. We stand united in fear of an unknown tomorrow, not knowing if our world will withstand the devastating impact of COVID-19 yet with the hope of resurrecting from its devouring fangs.

Let’s all just pause and reflect back upon Jesus’ sacrifices and honor his resurrection from the graves as we all, irrespective of our caste, creed, religion- must hold hands and recognise this phenomena together and fill up our Easter baskets with eggs of joy, satisfaction, selflessness and most importantly, love.  

Let’s finally pray for our leaders rise to this challenge and share responsibility among each other while promoting unity, for the many who are grieving the loss of their loved ones, for the multitude fighting the virus and for the larger number to be enlightened and work with the government to fight the pandemic so that we all cross this tunnel of darkness together into the light of hope and a brighter tomorrow.

Let’s all begin to recognise our lovely and positive life, starting today; and live it even more beautifully because ‘Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of life.’