Sharing
is an important life skill.
Learning
to share is vital, which is a challenge for many young children. They need to
develop it as it is required while they cooperatively play and learn.
Sharing
teaches compromise and to be fair, it teaches them to negotiate when required,
to give and take and most importantly to cope with disappointment.
Young
children are focused on their own feelings and want things they see for
themselves. They need to be taught to share with grace. This skill needs to be developed
slowly with utmost care and patience. However it needs to be developed, after all,
this is the skill that we carry into adulthood.
Helping
your child share means demonstrating the act yourself. After all, children do
not listen to adults, they follow them.
1- Encourage the child even
if they snatched a toy and say something like, “I know you took it as it is so
lovely and colorful. I’m sure ‘child No.2' wants it for the same reason. Would
you like to give it to him to see and feel it as well? Then you can take turns
and bring out another toy that can be used together. You can turn to the other
child and say, I understand waiting is difficult, however, when you get the
toy, you’re going to enjoy it more.
2- Provide the emotional
support the child may need. They are bound to get teary and feel disappointed. Children
need to feel understood. It may be important to acknowledge their emotion and
validate it. They will feel accepted.
3- Help the child find a
solution. Get them to talk to their siblings/friends and come up with ways to
work out the situation. Here it is important to support both children. If we
can encourage our children to be problem-solvers and create win-win situations,
it will help them grow up to be compassionate and empathetic.
Some
more things that can be done-
- Start
sharing things with the family/friends in front of children so they can see
that it is perfect to share. Also share with the child. You can start with
sharing food or a book or a pencil with the child.
- Encourage
and praise them for even an act of sharing that they’ve demonstrated.
- If
they are reluctant to share, give them space and help and encourage them. Do not
give up as it is difficult for them to share at first, slowly with time, they
will learn and understand its importance. However remember not to get disappointed
yourself and give up. You have to coax and cajole the child into sharing by
demonstrating it even more. Talk about the benefits of having more toys when
they share. Take them to libraries and toy stores where they have to share what
they have in order to get what they want.
- If
the child still doesn’t share, you may want to take the toy temporarily and not
allow either child to play with it so they understand the consequence of it.
As
they grow, most children learn to share especially when they want to use what
another has.
So
let’s be patient! Encourage and praise and let’s not give up. Let’s not make
our children selfish else they may find it difficult to cope up when they grow.
